Reading List - March 2024
For the last however-many-years, I have had ‘read more books’ on my longstanding and metaphorical to do list. I’ve tried lots of things to make this happen and I think I’ve got a good rhythm at the moment.
I’ll write more about what helps me to read more another time, but one thing I can share right now, is that having a selection of new books ready for me at all times definitely helps me read more.
Any kind of delay in starting a new book after finishing an old one, is what tends to throw me off completely. Days without reading easily turn into weeks and then months, which is not cool.
I just finished The Fish that Ate the Whale by Rich Cohen (amazing), and even though I had a stack of books I wanted to read already, I felt compelled to buy a few more for March. (All bought and paid for by me)
I’m going to try and share what I plan on reading each month, and then review each book when I’m done.
I wish I could be Ryan Holiday and read 8,000 books a month, but 4 is pretty much my absolute maximum. I’m a slow reader, and trying to read quickly stresses me out and makes me not enjoy it. If I only read one book a month I feel like I could have done better but if I read a book a week, I feel like I am winning at life (lol).
This month’s book haul has 4 titles that are new to my collection:
The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life (by Epictetus)
Despite outward appearances, I’m actually not a super fangirl of Stoicism. I like Ryan Holiday, but the only primary source stoic literature I’ve read is On the Shortness of Life by Seneca. I’ve never even read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I understand the basic principles, but I am not actually familiar with the classics.
I used to be obsessed with objectivity and rationality, but as I got older I realised that I was only being peddled one mode of being, and it wasn’t a healthy one. I spoke more about this a couple of year ago on this podcast (not particularly eloquently but I did my best 😅).
Essentially, my issue with the modern day version of stoicism is that it feels too one-dimensional and doesn’t encourage the healthy expression of negative emotions or the firm enforcement of personal boundaries.
This is probably helpful guidance for average Joe who flies off the handle at every little thing, but is a recipe for disaster for people pleasers and (yes I’m generalising here) women who have already been socialised since birth to be passive doormats for the rest of the world to walk all over and take advantage of.
I know there are a handful of pieces in proper stoic literature advocating for the healthy expression of emotions, but the overwhelming narrative is: accept your circumstances, stay calm and forgive everyone no matter what. No.
My issue with this gospel is that:
Negative emotions are REALLY important and they are trying to tell you something. If you ignore them, they will reappear elsewhere in your life – either as an illness or form of self-sabotage. (Read When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate). Life needs to be lived in balance, and your shadow needs as much care and respect as your light does. Trusting your subconscious also helps you to develop your intuition and decision-making abilities, while stifling it will hinder them both. It is possible to live your life in an integrated state rather than constantly being at war with yourself and that starts with not crushing your complex psyche into a box and policing your emotions. Examine yes, dismiss no.
Women in particular are raised to supress their opinions, needs and feelings for the comfort and benefit of everybody else. The ‘accept, tolerate and forgive’ narrative reinforces this artificial mode of operating, and makes women even more susceptible to the abuse and exploitation of others.
There is a cardinal rule of the universe that overrides the tolerate and forgive ethos which is: people treat you how you teach them to treat you. By discouraging (reasonable) retaliation and the firm policing of boundaries, stoicism makes you weak and powerless. We don’t always have time to wait for karma to give us a hand. Forgive yes, but also use your agency to push back to do what you can with what you have.
My lesson from the last few years:
· It’s not only ok, but on occasion it’s healthy/essential to be angry.
· It’s not only ok, but on occasion it’s healthy/essential to tell people to go fuck themselves.
I love this quote from Paracelsus: “Everything is a poison, it is only the dose that makes it not a poison”.
And so, everything is a poison (including stoicism) if not balanced with a healthy outlet in the opposite direction.
That said, I still ordered this book by Epictetus because it was recommended by someone I admire, respect and follow. So I’ll read it, but I’ll have a great big grain of salt next to me as I do.
The Bed Of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms (by Nassim Nicholas Taleb)
I bought Anti-Fragile by Nassim Taleb last year after I read The Almanack of Naval Ravikant (excellent). I flicked through it when it arrived and it wasn’t my thins, but The Bed of Procrustes is a collection of aphorisms written by other people so I think I’ll like this one. [edit, the books have since arrived and the aphorisms are written by Taleb – after a quick skim I reckon this will be a mixed bag at best].
I know aphorisms can be a really superficial way of consuming philosophy and without context they are at risk of being interpreted incorrectly, but I also kind of like the chaos this invites. Plus, they’re easy to remember in a pinch, compared to a long-winded story with lots of details I am bound to forget.
Man, if you have spent any time around me in the last 5 years, you will know that I am obsessed with the enneagram. I can’t remember when it was, but sometime in the last 5-7 years, I sat in the back of my friend’s car and took the enneagram test after she recommended it to me. What followed were lots of super interesting conversations and a massive increase in personal growth and self-awareness for me.
I’ve always liked personality tests and any kind of profiling really, but the enneagram is the real deal. Like first principles territory. Ever since I took the test, I have amassed a fine collection of insights, learnings and screenshots that I share with anyone who will listen. As a 5w4, I am happiest when I have reduced a complex human being down to a single digit. 😅
I got this book because I am working on something fun at the moment, and also because I haven’t actually read any proper BOOKS about the enneagram. Everything I’ve learned so far has come from pop culture and interneting. I’m looking forward to deepening my understanding of this amazing framework and busting out my new skillzZ at the next party I don’t attend. 😅
The Woman in Me (by Britney Spears)
And finally we have The Woman in Me by Britney Spears. I don’t really read celebrity memoirs, but buying this will make a lot more sense in a few months time. I was (like many people) an uber fan of Britney when I was a teenager – I thought she was perfect: cool, beautiful, successful and talented.
Something that I have been enjoying lately is revisiting things that I loved in my formative years to see how I feel about them now. Mostly it’s a feeling of nostalgia and warm familiarity, but often I get to completely re-experience all of these things through the lens of 20 extra years of lived experience and maturity.
In 2024 the heroes from my teenage years look so young (!) and I empathise with the passage of time and the evaporation of youth. I now see them as regular people, thrust into the limelight with all of the unfathomable and unanticipated pressure that brings - just doing their best like the rest of us - instead of the other worldly, perfect and untouchable figures I held in such high regard in the early 2000s.
I stopped following Britney’s story around 2005 as I grew out of my teenage-hood and tried to establish myself as an adult. But at 38, I feel excited to reconnect with story, and hear about what the ‘golden’ years were really like for her.
So that’s it! 4 new books on their way to me now and best believe I am going to be reviewing the shit out of these when I’m done with them.
- Linda ✌🏻